Bellzednab is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, generous ferret.

Bellzednab created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellzednab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bellzednab, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bellzednab's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bellzednab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Always help sheep.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Bellzednab must be the most important thing in your life.