Vigzutsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fussy scorpion.

Vigzutsaf created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Vigzutsaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vigzutsaf, he will jump up and down on your head.

Vigzutsaf's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Vigzutsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Do not take Vigzutsaf's name in vain.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.