Zaggidkar is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthinking elephant.

Zaggidkar created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zaggidkar, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zaggidkar, it will not care at all.

Zaggidkar's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Zaggidkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. You must never eat coconuts.