Venbifgun is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, slow monkey.

Venbifgun created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venbifgun, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Venbifgun, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Venbifgun's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Venbifgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.