Cemdimwod is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, weak tapir.

Cemdimwod created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemdimwod, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cemdimwod, it will throw large rocks at you.

Cemdimwod's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cemdimwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to capybaras while wearing magenta shoes.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.