Sakpagaf is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, annoying salamander.

Sakpagaf created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakpagaf, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sakpagaf, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sakpagaf's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Sakpagaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not take Sakpagaf's name in vain.