Bassvendud is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain hare.

Bassvendud created the planet Saturn two years ago.

If you believe in Bassvendud, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bassvendud, she will turn you into a plant.

Bassvendud's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bassvendud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about gravity.