Lapyogkadjad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent mongoose.

Lapyogkadjad created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapyogkadjad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lapyogkadjad, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lapyogkadjad's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Lapyogkadjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Never look at nebulae.