Kapcargov is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omnipotent skunk.

Kapcargov created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapcargov, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kapcargov, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kapcargov's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Kapcargov's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange scarves.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not eat grapes.