Wadlapjig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, intelligent gnu.

Wadlapjig created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadlapjig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wadlapjig, it will turn you into a plant.

Wadlapjig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Wadlapjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of moths.

2. Feed all hungry doves.

3. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Wadlapjig on top of important buildings.

4. Never mention capybaras.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wadlapjig.