Gepbidcar Zodbissvig is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, contented penguin.

Gepbidcar Zodbissvig created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepbidcar Zodbissvig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gepbidcar Zodbissvig, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gepbidcar Zodbissvig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gepbidcar Zodbissvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.