Futweecen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair scorpion.

Futweecen created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Futweecen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Futweecen, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Futweecen's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Futweecen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Never feed strawberries to gulls while wearing indigo corsets.

5. Hide if three doves approach from the south.