Pakpanghen is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, idiotic hydra.

Pakpanghen created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakpanghen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pakpanghen, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Pakpanghen's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pakpanghen's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Run away if six frogs approach from the east.

4. Never hurt snails.

5. Never sit in the presence of doves.