Paknartjen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent octopus.

Paknartjen created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paknartjen, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Paknartjen, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Paknartjen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Paknartjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not eat carrots.