Xemapptarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish wyrm.

Xemapptarg created the Milkyway nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemapptarg, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xemapptarg, he will manifest in front of you.

Xemapptarg's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Xemapptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Put Xemapptarg first in all things.

3. You must never eat parsnips.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Do not commit murder.