Futfutken is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, two-faced wolf.

Futfutken created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futfutken, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Futfutken, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Futfutken's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Futfutken's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Worship no other gods but Futfutken.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.