Tiffomzen is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, awesome donkey.

Tiffomzen created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiffomzen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tiffomzen, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tiffomzen's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tiffomzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never sit near great tits.

5. Never look in ponds.