Bopdagflap Ponrillfempin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, self-confident hydra.

Bopdagflap Ponrillfempin created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopdagflap Ponrillfempin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bopdagflap Ponrillfempin, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bopdagflap Ponrillfempin's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bopdagflap Ponrillfempin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Bopdagflap Ponrillfempin must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must love Bopdagflap Ponrillfempin.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.