Nilldogveen is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, duplicitous parrot.

Nilldogveen created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilldogveen, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nilldogveen, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nilldogveen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nilldogveen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black birds for they are unholy.

2. Always look after injured moths.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.