Besttimfod Figjipgar is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, sage pig.

Besttimfod Figjipgar created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Besttimfod Figjipgar, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Besttimfod Figjipgar, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Besttimfod Figjipgar's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Besttimfod Figjipgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Do not take Besttimfod Figjipgar's name in vain.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Do not cook food in pots.