Talsogfed is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, moody penguin.

Talsogfed created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talsogfed, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Talsogfed, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Talsogfed's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Talsogfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.