Tikstipton Ruttbomkop is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited otter.

Tikstipton Ruttbomkop created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Tikstipton Ruttbomkop, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tikstipton Ruttbomkop, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tikstipton Ruttbomkop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tikstipton Ruttbomkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured cats.

2. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.