Jopnilldub is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, compassionate aardvark.

Jopnilldub created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopnilldub, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jopnilldub, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jopnilldub's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jopnilldub's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Never run in the presence of mites.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always look after injured birds.