Daddogyim is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, awesome turtle.

Daddogyim created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Daddogyim, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Daddogyim, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Daddogyim's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Daddogyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never hurt gulls.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.