Botwiptag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, staggering unicorn.

Botwiptag created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botwiptag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Botwiptag, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Botwiptag's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Botwiptag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never paint your back magenta.

4. Never run in the presence of ducks.

5. Always obey Botwiptag's priests.