Jabgupjen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, contented dog.

Jabgupjen created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabgupjen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jabgupjen, he will turn you into a goat.

Jabgupjen's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jabgupjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near geese.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about cell theory.