Rigmitcem is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, witty hippopotamus.

Rigmitcem created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Rigmitcem, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rigmitcem, he will turn you into a mouse.

Rigmitcem's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Rigmitcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never feed grapes to turtles while wearing blue trousers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never jump in the presence of capybaras.