Bonkbugtit Flanfentar is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, two-faced porpoise.

Bonkbugtit Flanfentar created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbugtit Flanfentar, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bonkbugtit Flanfentar, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bonkbugtit Flanfentar's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Bonkbugtit Flanfentar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Fast once a month.

5. You must pray to Bonkbugtit Flanfentar nine times a day.