Dotnarbig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, awesome dugong.

Dotnarbig created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Dotnarbig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dotnarbig, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Dotnarbig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dotnarbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Always look after injured great tits.

3. Never sing in the presence of sheep.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Hide if eight pigs approach from the west.