Japrigkom is a god.

He takes the form of a small, idiotic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Japrigkom created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japrigkom, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Japrigkom, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Japrigkom's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Japrigkom's Holy Commandments

1. Japrigkom must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.