Tarpcumfas is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, temperamental crab.

Tarpcumfas created the Sunflower Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpcumfas, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tarpcumfas, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Tarpcumfas' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tarpcumfas' Holy Commandments

1. Tarpcumfas loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Tarpcumfas must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Tarpcumfas on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about moons.