Xinzantofcum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous alligator.

Xinzantofcum created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xinzantofcum, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Xinzantofcum, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Xinzantofcum's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Xinzantofcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Whales are not to be trusted.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.