Bentaffod is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-knowing mole.

Bentaffod created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bentaffod, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bentaffod, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bentaffod's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bentaffod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Run away from yellow porpoises, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.