Gamtimrag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, kind mink.

Gamtimrag created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamtimrag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gamtimrag, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gamtimrag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gamtimrag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.