Toncibpigvonkbosscab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sapient hippopotamus.

Toncibpigvonkbosscab created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Toncibpigvonkbosscab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Toncibpigvonkbosscab, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Toncibpigvonkbosscab's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Toncibpigvonkbosscab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Toncibpigvonkbosscab on top of all buildings.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat lentils.