Taptipstafcencenarp is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, wise armadillo.

Taptipstafcencenarp created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Taptipstafcencenarp, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Taptipstafcencenarp, she will turn you into a dog.

Taptipstafcencenarp's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Taptipstafcencenarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Taptipstafcencenarp on top of important buildings.

5. Never write about planets.