Nilsaslib is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous giraffe.

Nilsaslib created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilsaslib, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nilsaslib, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Nilsaslib's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Nilsaslib's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Hide if eight foxes approach from the north.

5. Never wear brown dresses.