Kapbesscut is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, confident hippopotamus.

Kapbesscut created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Kapbesscut, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kapbesscut, it will be very unhappy.

Kapbesscut's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Kapbesscut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Always help seals.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.