Rapflowarn is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient meerkat.

Rapflowarn created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rapflowarn, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rapflowarn, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rapflowarn's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Rapflowarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Rapflowarn on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Feed all hungry ants.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Rapflowarn.

5. Never talk about dolphins.