Ominlarnlop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciless yak.

Ominlarnlop created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Ominlarnlop, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ominlarnlop, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ominlarnlop's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Ominlarnlop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about gravity.