Fadyarpwig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-knowing pig.

Fadyarpwig created the Milkyway eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fadyarpwig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fadyarpwig, she will turn you into a plant.

Fadyarpwig's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fadyarpwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Run away if seven great tits approach from the west.

4. Never feed rice to porpoises while wearing magenta shirts.

5. Never paint your hands red.