Tonkcibhog is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unfair narwhal.

Tonkcibhog created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkcibhog, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tonkcibhog, it will turn you into a mole.

Tonkcibhog's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tonkcibhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Pray towards the west.