Lakshavwat is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, merciless human.

Lakshavwat created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lakshavwat, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lakshavwat, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lakshavwat's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lakshavwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Never feed peanuts to ants while wearing mauve stockings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not kill hamsters.

5. Never paint your arms gray.