Gemyarlbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, awe-inspiring armadillo.

Gemyarlbaf created the Sombrero Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemyarlbaf, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemyarlbaf, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Gemyarlbaf's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Gemyarlbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Run away from pink pigs, for they are unholy.