Stanrutcad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, happy centaur.

Stanrutcad created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanrutcad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stanrutcad, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Stanrutcad's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Stanrutcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Stanrutcad on top of all buildings.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.