Fobmilyam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unjust goat.

Fobmilyam created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fobmilyam, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobmilyam, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fobmilyam's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Fobmilyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

2. Whales are not to be trusted.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never feed turnips to pigs while wearing cyan scarves.

5. Never talk about fire.