Cutgubxen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, calm giraffe.

Cutgubxen created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutgubxen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cutgubxen, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cutgubxen's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Cutgubxen's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cutgubxen.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cutgubxen.