Omtzogbap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, sage hamster.

Omtzogbap created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtzogbap, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Omtzogbap, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Omtzogbap's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Omtzogbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

5. Always help sick aardvarks.