Queegfarnlimfom is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless monkey.

Queegfarnlimfom created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegfarnlimfom, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Queegfarnlimfom, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Queegfarnlimfom's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Queegfarnlimfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Queegfarnlimfom's priests.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never eat cucumbers.