Hakflabdog is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, strong troll.

Hakflabdog created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakflabdog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hakflabdog, he will remove you from existence.

Hakflabdog's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Hakflabdog's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always obey Hakflabdog's priests.

5. Hakflabdog loves manatees, so they must be respected.